Sleep
by ryanzraindrop
Summary: Sirius has left all the comforts of the life he once knew. He find sanctuary in an alley with a hooker named Mercy.


_This is a one-time shot at a story with a hidden meaning. This was inspired by the book CAN'T GET THERE FROM HERE by Todd Strasser. Tell me what you get from this story. I'd love to know._

"I can't help being what I am anymore than you can." the young girl in the miniskirt, chain-smoking a cigarette Sirius believed was _not_ legal, said.

"There's a big difference, love, in being a whore and being lost." Sirius said, taking a drink from his vodka bottle.

"Lost?" Mercy snorted. "If you're lost, I'm a chaste angel." She took another drag on her joint. "You're a runaway, Sirius. You left your rich mummy and daddy for reasons unknown to piss your life away in the alley."

"At least I don't sell myself."

"At least I can admit the truth about myself." Mercy shot back. "I know that I'm a prostitute, a daughter of sin. You . . . you just think you're so high and mighty, above us underworld creatures, just because you have a rich mummy and daddy to go home to. Does that make you feel special, Sirius?"

Sirius scuffed one of his feet, then the other, along the ground. He took another drink from the vodka bottle. "I had a reason." he whispered.

Mercy put the faded joint on the ground and put it on with the toe of her spiked heels. "Yeah, we all do. Candy's daddy popped her mom, Charlotte's daddy raped her, Joey's momma kicked him out 'cuz he's gay and it doesn't work with her 'holy' fucking plan or whatever." Mercy put her hands on her hips. "When you're out here with us you're not all that fucking special, Sirius. You're just like us, shitless and shit broke."

Sirius finished up his vodka and threw the bottle at the wall behind Mercy's head. "What's your reason then?" he yelled. "What makes you so fucking special? Just because I stay in an alley with you when it's raining out doesn't mean you know shit about my life! You don't know why I left or who I am or even what my fucking last name is, Mercy! Do you even know what _your_ last name is?"

Mercy put her hands on her hips. "You don't scare me, Sirius. You were raised with a fucking gold spoon. I'm not going to pity you!"

"I don't want anybody's fucking pity, all right? I'm sick of pity! I've had enough of that pity shit! Why the fuck do you think I split from that hellhole in the first place?" Sirius' eyes prickled from the threat of tears, but he refused to back down. _I'm not going to let some fucking hooker in a padded bra push me around!_

"Ooohhh. You just wait, Sirius. One day you'll see. You'll either go crawling home to Mummy and Daddy or to that fucking poet-eyed guy you were snogging last year, or else . . . You'll sell yourself just like me."

"I'll never sell myself." Sirius whispered. "I won't."

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It was a couple days later, but it was still raining. An androgynous male with large, blue eyes had offered Sirius a room for the night in exchange for . . . _services._ Sirius had refused. That was why he was in the alleyway, huddled against the wall. He sank against the wall, becoming invisible, melting into the wall.

Mercy came in with one of her many customers, a drunk at the bar who had offered her a couple of Galleons. Sirius must have become invisible because they went about their quick business as if her weren't there.

He must have become mute as well, because he didn't say anything. Mercy say him afterwards, knees pulled up to his chest, head resting on his knees, buried by arms. He was crying, but she didn't hear that. The rain camouflages tears.

"Sirius?" Mercy whispered, walking over and nudging him. _Gods, don't let him be dead. He's just a fucking innocent. He didn't do nothing wrong. _"Sirius?"

"Huh?" He jerked his head up and saw her. "What do you want, Mercy?" he asked in a voice that suggested he could care less.

"Come on, honey. We'll get you a place to stay for the night. Come on, I'll take care of it." Mercy said, reaching down an arm to help him up.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Sirius whispered.

Mercy paused. "One of the boys down at the school – that poet-eyed guy, the one you were dating –he told Abby about your daddy. I didn't meant to run you so hard. It's just—"

"I don't need any sympathy!" Sirius cried, standing up and backing away from her. "I don't need your fucking pity! I've had enough!" He walked out toward the opening of the alley, where some drunk guy with platform boots on grabbed him.

"Hey, honey, you need a place to stay for the night?" The man traced a finger down his jaw line. "I've got an apartment just up the street."

Sirius looked at Mercy, who looked at her hands. "Yeah." Sirius said, knowing he was signing away his identity as he did it. "Sure, I could use a place for the night."

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The man hovered over Sirius for a few moments, then pressed fiery lips to his. "You every sold yourself before?" he asked. When Sirius didn't answer, the man named Azrael smiled. "You struck me as the innocent type. We'll see how innocent you are once we get those clothes off.

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_"No, Daddy! Don't!"_

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"Get off of me!" Sirius screamed, tears falling down his eyes. "I don't care, I'll stand in the fucking rain for weeks, just don't touch me." He was sobbing now.

"I don't think so, _mon cherie._ You see, you're mine now. Those are the rules in whoredom. And you're a whore. Don't think you're special now."

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A razor blade clattered in the corner of the alley as Mercy entered. She ran to look at found Sirius, bleeding and broken. "Come on, Sirius. Someone up the street'll have a wand. They can fix it." Mercy whispered.

"No." Sirius murmured. "Please. Just let me . . . I just wanna sleep, Mercy. Please, just let me sleep?"

"You won't wake up, Sirius."

"Sometimes it's okay not to."

"You shouldn't have gone with that man last night. I could have gotten you a room. I could have taken care of everything." Mercy said.

"I don't want pity." Sirius whispered.

"You deserve pity just as much as me." Mercy said softly. "My daddy fucked me too, Sirius. We both deserve sympathy. We just don't get it, that's all."

"I wanna sleep." Sirius repeated.

Mercy took a deep breath. "Then you will, my lovely. Then you will."

"Just do me one favor, Merce."

"Sure, Sirius, anything."

"You know that boy with the poet-eyes? The one that comes down to here with the rest of the people from Hogwarts?" Sirius was losing too much blood. He was afraid he would die before he could finish the words.

"Yeah, love?"

"His name's James. Just, tell him you know Sirius and tell him . . ."

"Yeah?"

"Tell him I love him."

"All right, baby, I will."

"Promise?"

"Promise, love. Cross my heart and hope to die." Mercy kissed his forehead. "Now go to sleep, _mon cherie._"

"Sleep." Sirius whispered the forgotten word. He dropped the last thing he had been holding onto. A picture of James washed with the rain into the sewer.

_Be calm_

_Be brave_

_It'll be okay_

_--Guster_


End file.
